The Muppet Family

[Benjamin Muppet]

Below is the combined effort of all the Muppets to cover the full backstory of the Muppet family. If you like it let us know what you though. If you didnt like it Dont tell us because it took AGES.

INTRODUCTION OF THE MUPPET FAMILY

If you have met them, then you would know that the Muppet Family is a very strange set of people. It is a group of individuals from a wide variety of backgrounds but remains all under one family name. Some of the Muppets are ‘nice’ if they like you while others might just tell you to do one or try assault you, it's impossible to say what will happen when you talk to one of them. 

 

• 2009, Brixton, London a few of the muppet lads queuing at the chicken shop.

 

The roots of the muppet family date back all the way to 1191 AD when Sir Gareth Lancelot-Muppet Fought alongside King Richard the Lionheart against Saladin in the third crusade. Originating from Brixton, England the muppets own an estate there consisting of 103 acres, however due to Diesel Tony Muppets behaviour he was banished from the family therefore moving to another location in Brixton. 

 

All muppets until Diesel were respected members of the community and regarded as ‘royalty’ by the locals. However Diesel tarnished the family name for being a tosser and getting into a life of crime. Diesel and a few of his brothers decided to make his own dynasty by having children with every woman he was intimate with. This lead to a huge number of Muppet children (mainly sons) Growing up in Brixton. Diesel is incapable of taking care of himself never mind 32 children. So the muppet children now having to take care of themselves obviously followed in their father's footsteps of living a life of crime.

 

UPBRINGING

 With no Carers or role models Many muppets ended up in juvy or in the grave. The ones that did manage to stay alive and free had to take care of each other in their Brixton home. To Prevent chaos the muppet lads made a rule that whoever was holding the chicken shop box had the right to speak and voice their opinion. This is how matters were solved by the muppet children as opposed to the old method of having a big fight and whoever was left standing had their say. This did not end the fighting all together however because now the muppets sometimes fought over the chicken box instead of their debate ideas. A few of the brighter muppets (Benjamin, Colin) started forging chicken boxes and this lead to CHAOS when multiple chicken boxes were in the mix. The main use of the chicken box was to decide what radio station was playing in the muppet house or who was on rozzer watch.

 

MOVE TO CALI

at around the age of 17 Benjamin, Danny, Johnson, Zanga, Daniel, Miroslav And Matthew decided to make the move to California along with a few other muppets. Spending a few years in califorina getting up to no good and causing a general fuckery and making FAT stacks they decided to hide from all their warrants and debts by ‘fucking off to new york’.

 

MOVE TO NEW YORK

 In New York a few other muppets joined them from Brixton including their father who just got released from a 10 year stretch in prison. If you were wondering, the sentence was for battering someone half to death in a local pub with a carling glass. While in New York the muppets tried to make it by going legit. Benjamin got a job as a councilor, Johnson tried his hand at being a fisherman, Danny tried to make it in the acting business and Zanga tried his luck at the local Casino (gambling, not working for them.)
This attempt at going legit lasted 3 hours 47 minutes before Danny stabbed his produdcer and the Muppets decided to ‘fuck it off’ and go back to their crack house to begin the next batch. The Muppets quickly fell into old habits of slangin rocks and robbing / killing people. Banjo only enabled them by supplying surplus russian guns from his latest arms dealing adventure. With the upgraded hardware there was only going to be bad news from now on.

Zanga, Benjamin and Danny Muppet on their first day in new york.

 

• 2018 a few muppets entertaining themselves in new york.

 

-2019 Muppets in the casino with our favourite redneck, Billy Jackson.

 

-2019 Billy Jackson telling Benjamin Muppet what he thinks about him.

 

-2019 NYSP Trooper Chris Marshall threw Benjamin Muppet over the MRPD desk for being ‘uncooperative’

 

-2019 Muppets at legion questioning cops with BIG MACHINE GUN MIKE and dodgy vlad.

 

• 2019 a few of the muppets pissing on our good friends, Rose Tyler and James Brody's car.

 

-2019 Benjamin showing his appreciation to the nypd police force. 

 

-2019 important business meeting with J&R.

 

-2019 a few of the Muppets with James Brody.

 

• 2019 pissing on a cop car.

• 2019 legion, Looking after a cop car for an officer who had to leave for a bit.

 

-2019 our favorite NYPD officer, Jimmy Lynch.

 

• 2017 Muppets at the strip club in California.

 

MUPPETS IN NEW YORK

 

Benjamin Muppet

 

Benjamin is one of the more tame Muppets. Usually being the voice of reason to his family in dangerous situations he knows how to keep his cool around 60% of the time. It has not always been this way however, When benjamin was 8 years old him and Danny muppet decided to commit armed robbery on the local sweet shop to get the good sweets behind the counter. The shop owner 80yo dorothy was shot 3 times during this incident by a gunman perceived to be Benjamin Muppet, He Denied all charges but spent 8 years in juvenile detention along with his brother Danny.

 

Benjamin and Danny were in hostile territory from the day they entered juvenile detention.It was full to the brim with East London lads. If you do not know south and east london are not the best of friends. A few weeks into their sentence Danny got into an altercation with an east london gang member named tyrone who stole his noodle cup, Danny quickly started landing crisp japs and right hands to the east Londoners face tearing him up badly, Benjamin luckily was behind the man and sprinted towards him to initiate A stabbing to take Danny's noodle cup back. The pair knew once they made an example out of this situation they would not be bothered again. The pair spent the rest of their sentence selling stamps and noodle cups to make a small fortune behind bars which bought them all the Snickers bars and mr kipling cakes they wanted.

 

His go to order from the chicken shop is :

5 piece boneless bucket

mini fillet burger (WITH EXTRA BBQ SAUCE NO LETTUCE) 

large coke NO ICE 

Lots of Cross cut chips with chip seasoning (Chicken Chippy salt, not that other bollocks)

 

 Lettuce was once put on his burger and resulted in a shootout putting Benjamin in juvenile detention for another 3 years.

 

STATUS - ALIVE

 

• 2006 when benjamin was apprehended for the chicken shop incident.

• 2016 Benjamin writes off his brand new range rover vouge SE. (and himself)

-2016 Benjamin in California being pulled over for a parking ticket.

 

 

Johnson Muppet

 

Johnson is a very reasonable guy, he can be nice, but he can also be an absolute tosser. he loves heavy firearms but he also loves a good 20 piece chicken box.

 

 As a kid Johnson was dropped on his head, so he finds it a little difficult to get the accent down  that's why he sounds like an immigrant, but that's not gonna stop him from being a true Muppet.

 

Johnson had a hard upbringing, he was always bullied by his younger brother Danny. Danny always picked on Johnson for his pale looks and funny voice, but Johnson soon got revenge and set fire to his treehouse with Danny inside it.

 

Johnsons go to chicken shop order is

20 Piece chicken box, heavy with the BBQ Sauce.

10 piece nuggets light with Sweet Chili Sauce

2 Chicken Burgers  only chicken, no vegetable bullshit

2 Litre Coke

Once Johnson got Ranch instead of BBQ Sauce and that ended up in a shootout.

 

STATUS - ALIVE

 

-2018 Johnson Muppet armed for the famous ‘serbian mob cunts’.

 

• 2019 johnson passed out from meth fumes.Idiot.

 



















Danny Muppet

 

Danny muppet is a bit of a 2-sided type of person, he can be very reasonable but also up for killing cops or any other gang members who decided to fuck with the muppets. His 2 favourite past times are skanking to some heavy bassline (while on ket) and going to morley's chicken shop.

 

 Danny’s best moment with the other muppets was when he was chilling in california around the legion area with his brother Benjamin and some guys walked over and started talking shit one of them went to the back of danny’s car with a gun pulled and as a result got a 13 inch blade to the gut and a 50 cal bullet to the head from benjamins desert eagle. This started a feud with these people, known as the Morgans they tried to launch an attack on the muppets at their california home which did not end well. The Muppets reinforced their positions in the california home and pushed the Morgans back using small arms fire and a few RPG
missiles. One morgan was found hiding in the bushes behind the house when the rest of them had left. The Muppets gave this man to Elijah for questioning.

 

Favourite morley’s order

 

(Hot n spicy chicken burger) x 3

(hot n spicy chicken strips and large fries) x4 

Large ketchup

4 litres of full sugar sprite.

 

Once got given 3 litres of sprite by mistake and ended up taking the cashiers life as well as his familes in a shootout.

 

STATUS - ALIVE

 

• 2019 Danny muppets famous Mercedes Benz C63 AMG.

 

2017 - Danny Muppet Preparing for a serbian threat we may have discovered.

 

-2017 Danny Muppet after a gang beef with some serbian mobsters.

 

Zanga Muppet
 

Zanga is an absolute lunatic. He wasn't always like this, once upon a time he was a mild-mannered, polite 12 year old school student until Billy Piper, the headmaster, poured his rum and coke into the plants. With the last of Zanga's rum going into the plants, he suffered severe withdrawal and began to hallucinate and the hallucinations have never really stopped. This caused Zanga to approach Mr. Piper one day and batter him silly with a pint glass. This sent Zanga into a downwards spiral that was only made worse by his dad, Diesel Tony Muppet, leaving when he was 13, leaving behind only a 3 kilogram bag of cocaine. Zanga, feeling abandoned and still hallucinating, began snorting cocaine on a regular basis whilst the other Muppet brothers were bagging and selling the drugs. this excessive cocaine use eventually tore Zanga's nose apart, leaving only the stump left. When the other Muppet brothers found out that Zanga was snorting the equivalent of 30 thousand dollars of cocaine a week, they slapped Zanga up, which didn't help his nose.

 

With all the cocaine snorted, Zanga enlisted the help of Johnson Muppet so acquire some food. They attempted to hold up Ramano Escobar, the UK's largest drug kingpin from 1972 to 1998, on his was out of Morley's chicken shop in Brixton for his 3 piece crispy wing meal and fillet burger. After making off with just two pieces of chicken and a coke zero, he personally hunted the Muppets down for months. Escobar eventually learned of the Muppets' highly successful, but now demolished, cocaine selling empire and made the Muppets an offer to supply them with 80 kilograms of cocaine a week in exchange for 20% of all sales. After accepting the offer, they learned that their father Diesel previously ran drugs into France for Romano Escobar, putting them in his "Prison Wallet" and entering foreign countries.

 

Zanga did not learn from his previous chicken shop experience and attempted to rob another man for his boneless banquet bucket and popcorn chicken. After clutching the mans popcorn chicken and spilling it on the floor, the man pulled out a glock and a badge and placed him under arrest for attempting to rob an officer. Zanga spent 4 years in Juvenile detention and was released at the age of 17.

 

Upon his release, Zanga went to Morley's chicken shop and ordered his signature meal:

2 Fillet burger meal, medium fries

8 Popcorn chicken boxes

25 piece chicken strip bucket

1 Corn on the Cob

All washed down with 5 pints of Carling beer.

 

One time the cashier left out a chicken strip and the result was a shootout, leaving 3 dead and 14 injured.

STATUS - ALIVE

 

-2018 Zanga muppet ‘PIRCHING LIKE A FUCKING EAGLE I AM SON’

 

• 2019 zanga bonding with the new york locals.

 

-2019 Johnson Muppet and good friend of ours, Darwin Brown trying to make Zanga feel better about his casino addiction.

 

-2019 Muppets had to deal with a dog.

 

Daniel Muppet

Daniel has quite a checkered past. His first arrest was at just 14 years of age when he began stalking Benjamin’s now deceased wife and mother to 4 of his kids. Daniel spent 14 hours a day with a dashcam strapped to his BMX, following Benjamin’s wife every time she left his house. He would cycle at over 35mph to catch up to her car just to get a recording of her. After frequently bumping into Daniel up to 17 times a day at various locations that Daniel does not usually attend, she grew suspicious and told Benjamin. Benjamin replied “that slimy BASTARD” and grabbed his 16 inch stainless steel wrench and shattered both of Daniel’s kneecaps with not even as much as a ‘hello’. Daniel appeared to move on, until Zanga’s now deceased wife Dawn caught Daniel stealing her dirty socks from the washing machine and swallowing them whole. Dawn told Zanga who proceeded to borrow Benjamin’s 16 inch stainless steel wrench and shattered his elbows. These repeat offences called for a Muppet family meeting attended by all. This meeting started as a discussion about Daniel Muppet and his disgusting antics until he whispers ‘She has scrumptious toes’ which caused both Zanga and Benjamin to launch their pint glasses which embedded themselves into Daniel’s skull. With Daniel dazed and sobbing, the rest of the 19 Muppets in attendance proceeded to stomp on Daniel Muppet’s limp, lifeless body. 

 

Since this altercation, Daniel Muppet learned his lesson and converted himself into a loyal member of the Muppet family. He has shown bravery on many occasions, once standing up to the cashier at the chicken shop when he gave Benjamin Muppet a small Coca Cola instead of a large one which ended in a shootout.

 

Daniel’s chicken shop order is as follows:

5 Fillet burger meals, no bun

1 Sprite, no cup, use small bag instead.

1 duffel bag full of corn on the cob

And one pot of gravy, washed down with a pint of Carling.

 

Once they tried handing daniel a sprite in a cup, which ended up in him reaching for his glock to initiate a shootout.

 

STATUS - ALIVE

 

-2019 Daniel Muppet performs an aerial strike on Danny Muppet.

 

Miroslav Muppet

 

Miroslav Muppet is a very kind man, if you offer him drugs. If you don't offer him drugs, he'll be your biggest enemy.

He has even shot his own brothers because he did not get the cocaine that they promised. Miroslav is happy to shoot first and then ask questions later. Miroslav never holds a low profile and can be very crazy and he doesn't care if there are police nearby. Miroslav is like a bloodhound when it comes to drugs and violence, he always finds his way to it.

 

When Miroslav came to California, he was known by every police officer as well as teasing with all the people except their brothers. Miroslav robbed banks, dealt with drug trafficking, kidnapping and much more. He had a selection of very nice cars as well as a very nice house. This began to interest the police so they began to look more closely at what Miroslav did in his spare time, and to try to put him in jail for life.

And then they were not seen in the evening. The police got an alarm that someone was breaking into the police station and this was then Miroslav and Daniel who

trying to access all the evidence, for they had found out that there were 15 kilos of cocaine in the locker, they wanted it to bag up and sell. But unfortunately they did not succeed in doing the robbery. So Miroslav as well as Daniel were sent to jail for an entire 5 year sentence in a maximum security prison.

 

Miroslavs go to chicken shop order is :

8 piece wing box

3 mini fillet burgers with no lettuce and BBQ sauce

XL Coke

 

Once miroslav received a normal sized coke which resulted in a shootout.

 

 

STATUS - ALIVE

 

Banjo Muppet

 

Banjo Muppet, One of the younger muppet brothers had a normal life up until about his 10th birthday. On this day Banjos father, diesel tony got locked up for the carling glass incident which left banjo and his family to fend for themselves. Banjo being one of the younger muppets he found it difficult to cope and inevitably stopped going to school from the age of 11. 

 

Diesel left banjo his .50 AE Desert Eagle as a final departing present which banjo cherished and still has to this day. This kicked off banjos fascination with firearms and eventually at the age of 14 he decided to make the move to Serbia to gain the ties he would need for an arms dealing campaign.

 

 After many successful years of gun smuggling and dealing he decided to join his family back in New York at the age of 17. It was nice for banjo to see his family once again but there was a bigger reason for him to make the move - He got into a situation with a serbian mafia and needed the manpower to either deter them of get rid of them for good.

 

Banjos go to Chicken shop order

4 piece chicken bucket

Popcorn chicken no chips

BBQ sauce on the side not mixed with his chicken

Large sprite.

 

Once the chicken shop gave Banjo diet sprite instead of full sugar which resulted in a shootout.

STATUS - ON THE RUN

 

Matthew Muppet

 

Matthew is a humble and generous man. He donates handsomely to the casino by depositing his donations in the slot machines. He loves a good scrap and a good rough and tumble session in the sheets. When he's not blowing a gyals back out he will be in the casino or the chicken shop. 

 

Matthew is a loyal Muppet sticking by his brothers no matter what. This was shown when he followed them in their journey to california and then again to new york. At the age of 14 matthew was arrested for DUI in his brother, Miroslavs mercedes, which he rammed up a tree. His brother was very disappointed in matthew since he tried to put him on the right path. Matthew failed to mention to miroslav that he was also receiving top from a lady of the night while driving drunk. Matthew always tries his best like when he was on the lookout for the famous ‘CHIPPY RAID’ where the other muppets robbed the local fish and chip shop for all their food. Matthew was on rozzer watch but fell asleep due to smoking a fat zute.

 

Matthews favourite chicken shop order is 

 

5 piece chicken box with potato wedges

BBQ double chicken burger.

XXL Dr Pepper

Tub of ben and jerry's cookie dough ice cream.

 

Once matthew was given brownie core ice cream instead of cookie dough which resulted in a shootout.

 

STATUS - ALIVE

 

Diesel Tony Muppet

The founding father of the reinvented dysfunctional Muppet Family. He really needs no introduction. There are not many sights that diesel has not seen, you name it he's seen it. From the jungles of the amazon to the desert plains of syria.

 

 Diesel spent 25 Years in the S.A.S from when he was exiled from the muppet family. After years of his service he realised getting paid a sub par salary to get shot at isn't cutting it. After running away from the military diesel spent a few years loitering around the middle east taking dirty jobs for rich princes. Diesel would do anything from ‘interrogating’ the princes enemies or just simply getting rid of them. 

 

Then in about 1987 Diesel decided the desert was not doing his aging body any good and decided to move back to brixton. In the next 10 years he worked on building up the new muppet empire with many different women no matter who they were. He was raising an army of young muppet lads which the police would be incapable of apprehending. 

 

His plan was working perfectly until 2005 when he was arrested for *SLAMMING* a carling pint glass over a mans head in the local pub. The devastating blow rendered the man unconscious and the man eventually gave in to his crippling wounds and passed away. This heated confrontation was because the man blocked diesels view of the football match on TV which diesel was trying to watch. When diesel screamed the words ‘MOVE IT YOU MUG’ the man turned round and said to diesel ‘Are you mad?,’ then the man realising diesel was wearing a Man United shirt made the mistake of saying to diesel ‘ there's no room for man u SCUM in this pub’ diesel burst out in a fit of rage and clobbered the man silly with the pint glass, eventually smashing it against his head.

 

Diesel fled the Pub because he knew the police would be after him for what he had done. He had to Talk to his children and let them know he would be going on holiday for a while’. Diesel arrived at the home and gathered all the kids round to let them know. ‘ Right then lads, I've got some bad news. You bastards are gonna be on your own for a while. I want you to be nice to each other and danny lay off the mini rolls.’ Benjamin said to his father ‘Dad are you going prison again bruv?’ The other muppet kids started muttering between themselves and diesel quickly got their attention back, ‘NO you cheeky bastard, I'm not going back to prison. I've just got to go on a quick holiday to italy for a wine tour, i'll be back in about 10 years or so you lads will be fine without me.’ Diesel took banjo aside to hand him his treasured .50 AE desert eagle and told him to look after this gun and only use it when he wants to. Diesel left a 3 kilo sack of cocaine he had acquired from romano escobar on the side so the kids have something to sell as a means of getting money for food. He told Benjamin, Zanga, Johnson, Miroslav, Danny, Daniel and matthew that they would be expected to keep the house clean and in one piece for when he returns. He told them only to trust family and never betray each other and also to be nice to the chicken shop man.

 

Diesels favourite chicken shop order is:

Spicy zinger Chicken tower burger with no mayo,

Cross cut chips with BBQ dip

Chicken drumsticks,
Large diet orange fanta.

 

Once Diesel got mayo on his spicy zinger chicken tower burger which resulted in a shootout.

 

(Diesel would only stay still for a mugshot if the police officers gave him an unloaded weapon to look decent with.)

STATUS - ALIVE.

-2003 Some of Diesels kids visiting him in prison. (before the 10 year charge he covered as a holiday.

 

MUPPETS NOT IN NEW YORK.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - SON

STATUS - ALIVE

 

RELATION TO JOHNSON - SON

STATUS - ALIVE, IN PRISON SCHOOL.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - SON

STATUS - DECEASED.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - BROTHER

STATUS - DECEASED.

 

RELATION TO BENJAMIN - SON

STATUS - ALIVE, IN JUVENILE DETENTION.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - SON

STATUS - IN PRISON.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - SON

STATUS - IN PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL.

 

RELATION TO BENJAMIN - SON

STATUS - ALIVE.

RELATION TO DIESEL - BROTHER

STATUS - ALIVE.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - BROTHER

STATUS - DECEASED.

 

RELATION TO DIESEL - SON

STATUS - DECEASED 

 

RELATION TO MIROSLAV - SIDE TING

STATUS - DECEASED

 

RELATION TO DANNY - EX WIFE

STATUS - DECEASED

 

RELATION TO BENJAMIN - EX WIFE

STATUS - DECEASED.

 

RELATION TO BENJAMIN - SIDE TING

STATUS - DECEASED  

 

RELATION TO ZANGA - EX WIFE

STATUS - DECEASED

 

RELATION TO ZANGA - MAID / SIDE TING

STATUS - DECEASED

 

RELATION TO JOHNSON - EX WIFE

STATUS - DECEASED 

 

EXILED MUPPETS

 

Reason for being exiled - Sammy has always been a dirty snitch. He was the one who told the rozzers about Benjamin and Danny robbing dorothy's store, and also about Zanga and Johnsons chicken shop robbery. In the muppets eyes, even though he is their own brother the short arse need to be put in a grave. Sammy managed to get away somehow from the Muppets but not unscaved. The other Muppets battered him silly and tattooed “SNITCH” on his neck so everyone knows what he is.

 

STATUS - KOS (Kill On Sight)

 

Reason for being exiled - Dave the runt has never been able to step up to the plate. Even at 25 years old he struggles to win street fights the other muppets would of had no problem with even at 13 years of age. As a Muppet you should be able to do a few set things, These things are:

Demolish a chicken shop meal,

Rag 10+ cans of carling beer (the big 440ml cans not the smaller ones) as seen below

Easily win a 3v1 street fight

Be able to shatter an eye socket in under 3 punches,

Shoot a gun,

Shot bags of drugs quickly and efficiently,

And most of all not be a snitch.

 

Dave fails most of these things so the others had no choice but to exile him.

 

STATUS - SOS (Slap On Sight)

 

[Mario Mario]

You fucking muppets !!! 

[ItssJustJosh]

its crazy, seeing some of these screenshots from Cali haha, your a bunch as shiz heads but much respect to yall! you know always got your back brothers haha 

[Ben Accardi]

Amazing post haha

[James Brody]

BIG LADS

[chewy bar]

MUPPETS REPRESENT

[chewy bar]

I’ve just read this over fully. This has to be the most comprehensive and in depth thing ever written on this page.

[Heartt]

Low-key forgot about Lil Doob in the picture with Vlad and Mike but I'll let it slide laddies

[Benjamin Muppet]

19 hours ago, Dexter Smith said:

Low-key forgot about Lil Doob in the picture with Vlad and Mike but I'll let it slide laddies

sorry lad im shite with remembering names

[Jimmy Lynch]

The Muppet's? Nicest bunch of psychopaths i know. ~ Jimmy Lynch 2019

much love guys awesome bio feel honored to share a part in it.

[Benjamin Muppet]

1 hour ago, [1C-10] Jimmy Lynch said:

The Muppet's? Nicest bunch of psychopaths i know. ~ Jimmy Lynch 2019

much love guys awesome bio feel honored to share a part in it.

TOP GEEZA JIM

[Cologger]

Amazing detail and work put into this post! 

[Benjamin Muppet]

On 7/2/2019 at 7:26 PM, Cologger said:

Amazing detail and work put into this post! 

cheers lad

[joshbM]

What a great post holy shit.

[Benjamin Muppet]

On 7/3/2019 at 10:46 PM, joshbM said:

What a great post holy shit.

cheers mate

[Guest Gustavo Garcia | Kevin Lomax]

Not a bad post for a muppet. 

[Reign]

love you guys!

[Daniel Muppet]

This is some G shit

 

[SuthernSoldier]

Those damn Muppets lol

 

[II Cyber_Virus II]

Very Nice Post Boys.

[John Dunsworth]

Rest in peace Zanga Muppet - may you one day escape from the captivity of Albanian pirates

[KingHabibi]

love this  what a read, my god

[Billy Jackson]

Still my favorite thread

[adv4nced1]

Bravo on this, shit was so in depth it raises the bar

[Benjamin Muppet]

cheers lads